I can’t work like I used to.

I’m 22 years old — and that statement makes me sound like a 70-year-old at the end of their career.

Somehow, it’s true. I worked so much as a college student journalist and with so little time off, it was unsustainable. I can’t, and no longer wish, to replicate that.

But before I proceed, a disclaimer: I don’t regret it one bit. My time at The Daily Orange wasn’t easy, but it pushed me so much as a journalist. I met some of my best friends there. As I look back on my time at Syracuse, almost everything I learned was within the walls of 230 Euclid Ave. I’ll forever be a proud D.O. alum.

I don’t want this to come across as some complain-y, whiny column about how I worked as many as 80 hours per week as a student journalist. I don’t want it to come across as some show-off, look-at-how-hard-I-worked statement either.

What I do know, though, is that I struggled with burnout for the better part of my four years in college. I prioritized The D.O. and journalism internships over everything, including my own well-being. I was so in the thick of it, so caught up in the job, that I forgot to pause and make sure I was OK. I forgot to make sure I was still healthy, still happy, still maintaining some kind of balance.

I don’t really need to provide many more specifics. Every D.O. alum — certainly every former sports editor — knows exactly the kind of work load I’m talking about. Plenty of editors at other student newspapers understand the burnout I’m referring to as well.

During summer internships, my editors pushed me to establish a stronger work-life balance. They pushed me to sign off and take some personal time, to stop saying “yes” to every single assignment. For the most part, I ignored them.

It felt unnatural. It felt like I was slacking off. In hindsight, I wish I’d listened more.

Finally, at the start of senior year, the burnout caught up with me. I was too tired to work at the pace (346 D.O. bylines in three years) that I used to. Too tired in general.

Deep down, a part of me feared that I so burnt out I’d already peaked. The joy of achievement fulfills every writer, but the problem is that it’s short-lived, writer Paul Kix explains in his newsletter “The Gap and The Gain.”

“It’s short-lived because we want to achieve beyond what we just obtained,” Kix wrote in April 2022. “It’ll depress the shit out of you to endlessly progress, because to think primarily about progress is to think about all the things you have not done. Focusing on that stalls your achievement, cripples it even.”

Maybe that was part of my problem, part of the reason I burnt myself out in the first place.

So when I worked a full-time internship for the duration of my senior year, I tried to prioritize my well-being. Do the job, and do it well, but that’s it, to help manage the burnout.

It went against everything I felt like I learned as a student journalist. It felt unnatural, and at times unfulfilling, because I wasn’t going above and beyond.

At the start, I often felt like I was failing myself.

“Why is it that I can no longer dig up the motivation to wake up at 5 a.m. to work?” I asked myself. Have I gone soft because I want to sleep in? Because I don’t really want to write five bylines on the same day anymore? Because I want to spend my day off hanging out with my girlfriend or my roommates instead of reporting an extra feature?

I can’t work like I used to, but I found new ways to make my work fulfilling.

I can’t work like I used to, but maybe that’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped pushing myself, but maybe it means I finally started to prioritize my well-being, for once.

Sometimes we get caught up in old ways. Unwritten journalistic expectations that trickle down to student journalists certainly promote that work-all-the-time mindset. But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There can be sustainable ways to continuously work hard as a journalist, to grind out important, valuable stories — while also prioritizing your own well-being, mental health, and work-life balance.

So to all journalists: Work hard, yes always, but also work smart. Take care of yourself and take a damn break — so you’re healthy and happy enough to keep going.

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Roshan Fernandez was a senior staff writer for The Daily Orange, where his column will no longer appear. He can be reached at rferna04@syr.edu and on Twitter @roshan_f16.

Published on April 27, 2023 at 1:02 am