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2024 is already the year of the remake – sometimes excellent and refreshing, sometimes a tragic retelling of a classic and beloved tale. Doug Liman’s “Road House” doesn’t really follow these metrics. It lies somewhere between disrespectful and beautiful, attempting to recapture some of the cultural significance that accompanied the 1989 version of the film of the same name.

It’s not necessarily a bad movie. It has fun action sequences, some witty dialogue and a solid performance by Jake Gyllenhaal as Dalto which prevents the film from being completely atrocious. However, is it a good movie? Definitely not.

This film is deeply flawed. But you know what? So was its 1989 predecessor. In 1989, it was more acceptable to release mind-numbing action pictures with toe-curlingly bad dialogue and poorly constructed plots. (“Commando” with Arnold Schwarzenegger was loved but the movie is abysmal.) But what the original movie lacks in overall film quality, it makes up for in its charisma.

While Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott’s performances weren’t good in the original film, they were still forces. Swayze played the “it” man of the ‘80s and Elliot perfectly captured the older, wiser mentor Swayze looked up to. The film had an identity and knew its viewers. I would bet that every middle-aged man sitting on the couch still stops to watch it whenever they flick through channels, and that is a legacy of extreme importance.

This is where the 2024 film seriously loses its allure. The film’s directors failed to create a memorable remake, so it will never gain the cult status of the original.

While the movie excels in the industry standard of well-choreographed action, it’s still not enough to make the film unique. It doesn’t have the beautiful cinematography or color grading of a movie like “John Wick” or the intriguing plot and characters of “The Matrix.”

However, the action really is fantastic. The fight scenes’ blur effects allow viewers to feel the pain and suffering the fighter is going through. It works as a unique addition not often employed in action films.

I was most excited for Conor McGregor’s emergence into acting, but his presence is now my biggest gripe with the film. He’s just bad. He’s not Tommy Wiseau in “The Room” bad, but he’s certainly of that caliber. His line delivery is subpar, the way he presents himself is completely unnatural and he seems to have no acting talent whatsoever.

Some fighters and athletes like Dave Bautista and John Cena have had great success transitioning to film, but McGregor is better suited complaining about his UFC losses. I really hope this concludes Mcgregor’s brutally mediocre tenure as an actor.

Gyllenhaal’s fun portrayal of Dalton is one of the film’s few bright spots. His quietly psychopathic demeanor added a layer of depth to what was previously a surface-level character. He is easy to root for and watching him destroy everything that gets in his way is thrilling.

Swayze can never be replaced, but if they were ever going to do it, I’m happy it was with Gyllenhaal. He seems to have a knack for playing the guy so close to the edge that you don’t really know when he’s going to break, and he displays this perfectly in “Road House.”

Is this movie going to win any major awards this year? Hell no. (But I think McGregor has a Razzie with his name already being inscribed in it.)

Does this movie have any rewatchability? Probably not, but that doesn’t take away from my general enjoyment from watching once. This is a very fun film to watch and then completely forget about a week later. If you want some great action, and a movie so mindless that it can be background noise, then this is the film for you.

Published on April 2, 2024 at 11:48 pm