Bri Tolani could feel a panic attack coming. Her breathing quickened. Her brain became muddled and fuzzy almost like she was in a haze.

“Why don’t you write a song?” she remembered her mom saying. This was during her semester abroad in California through the Syracuse University Los Angeles Semester, and her mom had come to visit.

“We were at the pool, and (I) started humming to myself and, for some reason, the lyric ‘everything is just so damn hazy’ popped in my head, and I have no idea why, but then I was like ‘this is kind of sick,’” Tolani said.

She left the pool area, and pretty soon after, she fleshed out the song with lyrics and chord progressions.

Almost a year later, she released her debut solo single, “Hazy,” on Nov. 20 with a music video accompanying it. SU alumni and students came together to help bring Tolani’s vision to fruition. The song delves into Tolani’s experience with feeling dissociated.

Tolani likened it to the term “foggy brained.” She added that it can happen to anyone who is under immense pressure or stress, and that it’s the brain’s way of “protecting you.”

Tolani’s dream of being a singer started in high school and continued into college, where the 2019 graduate was part of the Bandier Program. During this time, she created a YouTube account dedicated to covers of famous pop songs like Julia Michaels’ song “Issues” and Drake’s “One Dance.” Soon after, she did topline vocals for beats she was sent by electronic dance music artists like Fluencee, Wiles and Steve Void.

“She got to work with producers all over the world from her dorm room in Syracuse, so that was a really great way for her to start her career,” Tolani’s manager Cassandra Couwenberg said.

Tolani said that while she is extremely grateful for these opportunities, she is trying to leave the EDM sphere and establish herself as an alternative pop artist. “Hazy” is a step in this direction.

As Tolani’s manager, Couwenberg said that she was told by others to release songs that were more “happy and upbeat,” but she supported Tolani’s decision.

“While it’s super vulnerable and scary, at the same time, that’s pure art in its finest form, when you have music that’s so organic and raw to what’s going on in someone’s life. It’s not just like releasing a song to release a song, it’s releasing a story in a chapter of your life,” Tolani said.

Tolani knew that she wanted a visual component to “Hazy,” so Couwenberg created a mood board and list of scenes that would be in the video. This was relayed to the directors, SU alumni Sam DelFavero and Austin Cieszko, who were instructed to tell a visual story about a group therapy session.

DelFavero added that their focus was to come up with a shot list that was more narrative driven. To DelFavero’s surprise, the actors were all Syracuse students.

The video is a snapshot into a group therapy session where people, including Tolani, voice their problems, but what viewers may not realize is the majority of these confessions by the SU actors are real.

“We had a lot of different options for lines for people who didn’t have their own stories to share, and we let people choose what they felt comfortable in saying or what they personally identified with,” Couwenberg said.

DelFavero echoed this sentiment, adding the space “almost became a support group” for those involved.

In the song, Tolani sings, “There’s no sun in my thunderstorm,” comparing the thunderstorm to life. With the help of Couwenberg, this lyric became the basis for the social media campaign entitled “My Thunderstorm Campaign.” Couwenberg said that this is a way for fans to share “their own thunderstorm through videos.” There will also be a campaign entitled “Clear the Storm,” where fans are encouraged to share coping mechanisms.

While Tolani hopes her music will help fans around the world, she said it also serves as a personal healing tool.

“I’ve always used music as an outlet because it’s really hard to talk about myself and talk about my problems to people. I’d much rather listen and help others, but I feel like when I write songs about my problems, it doesn’t feel like I’m talking about it in that way,” Tolani said.

Similarly, Tolani will be releasing a ‘90s mixtape consisting of covers of ‘90s songs that discuss experiences with mental illness. The list includes Radiohead’s “Creep” and “Mad World” by Tears for Fears. Tolani said that the campaign is meant to show that “this conversation has always been here and needs to be here.”

Fame has never really crossed Tolani’s mind, she said, but her EDM songs helped expand her fan base to places like Malaysia, India and Morocco. Tolani said she’s most excited for these fans to hear her new track.

“More than anything, I just want this song to talk to people, and even if someone isn’t going through stuff, I think it’s so good for people to be educated about things that are going on so they can help their friends,” Tolani said.

There have been over 5,000 cumulative streams and views in 24 hours since the song and music video dropped.

While Tolani has had Couwenberg, DelFavero and Cieszko to help bring “Hazy” to the masses, she goes back to the fateful day by the poolside when anxiety struck.

“I honestly give credit to my mom because she was like ‘go write a song’ and I was like ‘okay.’ And now here I am, you know, a year later, ready to release a huge song,” Tolani said. “It was really cool the way it all came together.”

Published on November 20, 2019 at 10:06 pm